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Indholdet af denne afdeling behøver næppe nogen nærmere forklaring...

Navigeringstip: Jo højere sidetal, jo nyere historier.

Help desk...?
Hullo. This Fire Help Desk. Me Groog.
Me Lorto. Help. Fire not work.
You have flint and stone?
Ugh.
You hit them together?
Ugh.
What happen?
Fire not work.
(sigh) Make spark?
No spark, no fire, me confused. Fire work yesterday.
*sigh* You change rock?
I change nothing!
You sure?
Ummm, me make *one* change. Stone hot so me soak in stream so stone not burn Lorto hand. Small change, shouldn't keep Lorto from make Fire.
[Grabs club and goes to Lorto's cave]
*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*

-- Indsendt af Jimi

WARNING!
This machine is subject to breakdowns during periods of critical need.

A special circuit in the machine called a 'critical detector' senses the operator's emotional state in terms of how desperate he or she is to use the machine. The 'critical detector' then creates a malfunction proportional to the desperation of the operator. Threatening the machine with violence only aggravates the situation. Likewise, attempts to use another machine may cause it to also malfunction. They belong to the same union. Keep cool and say nice things to the machine. Nothing else seems to work.

The Ten Commandments of Using Your PC
  1. Never show fear.
  2. Keep a big club handy, but out of sight of your PC.
  3. Never let your PC forget that you know where the power switch or outlet is.
  4. Always warn your PC of your intentions before inserting diskettes into the drives, and count your fingers afterwards.
  5. Make sure that the TURBO switch is off, and out of reach of any mechanical arms controlled by your PC.
  6. Never swear at your PC, except when you're out of the room. If your PC is networked, make sure no other PC's are within earshot, either.
  7. Never equip your PC with more memory than you yourself have.
  8. Never let your PC know that you plan to give it a brain transplant upgrade someday.
  9. Never install software on your PC that advertises "Let your PC take control!"
  10. Promise your PC that if it is cooperative, you will let it read the jokes on the Internet HUMOR list.
April Fool 
XX ITS.1168. PWORD.1733.
TTY 116
3. Lusers, Fair Share = 23%
Due to popular demand, TWENEX has been flushed in favor of
ITS.  Please update your programs.

*kmp
*login
You must type a ":" before commands
*:login kmp
Password:
April Fool!

 Job 24 on TTY116 1-Apr-80 13:12
 Previous login: 1-Apr-80 12:19 from host MIT-MC
 End of LOGIN.CMD.4
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