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  Uninstalling Underwear...*ring* *ring*Techie: "Hello! Local ISP, how can I help you?" Caller: "Well, I was sorta hoping someone could walk me through taking a leak" Techie: "Okay... well, do you have to go now?" Caller: "Yes, I do" Techie: "Okay... well, are you on male or female equipment?" Caller: "MALE-CLONE..." Techie: "Okay, the first thing we want to do is find your fly.." Caller: "My what?" Techie: "Your fly... it opens your pants. It should be in the front of you. Look down" Caller: "I see shoes" Techie: "No, sir... look sorta in the front of you... like just below your stomach. You should see some metal on your pants. That's your fly.." Caller: "The round thing?" Techie: "Well, that's your button... let's open that, too, while we're down there. The fly looks like a lot of little metal things sideways" Caller: "Oh, okay.. got it. [pause] Okay, it's open.." Techie: "Okay, sir... can you grab your willy?" Caller: "No." Techie: "Do you see your willy?" Caller: "No." Techie: "Okay... what do you see?" Caller: "I see white... just white and some lines.." Techie: "Do you have underwear installed?" Caller: "No." Techie: "Sir, if you can't see your willy, and you see only white... I think that you may have underwear installed. We are going to have to uninstall your underwear to take a leak...." Caller: "Well, my friend was the last one to use my fly... he might have installed underwear..." Techie: "Okay, sir... well grab the white part and pull down... keep pulling until you see your willy.." Caller: "It's stuck... it won't go down..." Techie: "The white part? Or your willy?" Caller: "My willy..." Techie: "DON'T pull down on your willy, sir... just the underwear... we only want to get to the point where we can see it...." Caller: "Oh... okay, we're there...." Techie: "Okay... now look around the room... do you see anything made of porcelain?" Caller: "I see a little penguin on a shelf ..." Techie: "Okay, sir...you're in the living room.... go to the bathroom. We can't take a leak until we are in the bathroom. The bathroom will have a lot of tile, maybe some carpeting... yours might have mirrors or some soap in it. Some people have showers in their bathrooms..." Caller: "Well, I'm downstairs... I think the bathroom is upstairs..." Techie: "Okay, well... let's go upstairs..." Caller: "I can't walk..." Techie: "Okay, sir... temporarily reinstall your underwear... then go upstairs.. then uninstall your underwear again..." Caller: "That was the white part, right?" Techie: "Yes, sir... that's correct..." [pause] Caller: "Okay, I'm upstairs..." Techie: "Okay... now do you see any porcelain bowl-type things?" Caller: "Well, there's two..." Techie: "How tall are you sir?" Caller: "5'4" .." Techie: "Okay... go to the one where it's lower than your willy...." Caller: "Okay....I'm there" Techie: "Okay... now make sure that you are pointing toward the porcelain bowl.. now just go.... " Caller: "What do you mean?" Techie: "Well, when it pops up... just hit 'okay'....."   |
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